Nuisance (4)

“Hold me back” she cried.

She wished to be pampered.
“Push her”, they said,
By them I mean the zombies of her own self.

She was one person who fought with her own self. She was one depressed person who couldn’t let herself not do, what she wanted to. However wrong it was, and how much ever she understood.

There was this strange battle that her mind and her heart fought. Her mind was one, dirty thinker and her heart was full of purity. She dashed into mischief, enjoyed it. And later felt guilty. She was one person, who never understood her own self.

Pulling my own hair tightly
I sat during the days in agony.
Finding out what I wanted in life.
Screamed at the top of voice
To tell myself,
I am one person
Who can do everything I want.
But then I heard voices,
Voices that pulled my motivation
And buried it under the ground.
Those voices didn’t let me be me.
They slapped me tight
And made me sit
Where I stood.
They didn’t let me
Keep a step forward.
If you wish to know
The mystery,
Those voices were of my past;
That shook my belly,
Burned my eyes
Paralyzed my limbs
And numbed my brain.
In the past
I was nothing of me
And all of what I was made.
In the present I can be nothing of me
And all of what I have gone through.
In order for me to talk to you,
Bite my lips,
When they’re hurt,
They speak,
They speak when they’re tired
All the pain, all of me.

– Nuisance
( A girl who doesn’t exist but is absolutely real) .

She wished to find someone who would understand her more than she did. And during her search, all that she went through were misleadings, and heartbreaks.

She wished only if someone could let her be the way she is, I hope you’ve that someone already.

– Aarti Motiani