How a person with no passion feels?

“It’s been days of lying in bed staring at the ceiling, highly engulfed in the vicinity of boredom, with absolutely nothing to do. This ‘nothing to do’ phase has always made me relived, because of the decrement that occurs in my stress levels, but it’s a little different this time. And as a matter of fact, life has never seemed so lifeless before.

People wake up and get out of bed every morning; either because they’re getting late for school or they’re running late for work or maybe they’ve to wake their children, so that they don’t get late for school. What I simply imply here is that, in a way or the other, they owe their lives to someone or something. They have their motivation, they have their muse. They’ve found it in some particular activity; they’ve found it in some person.

If I ask you right now, to leave everything you have, and get yourself out of it instantly, will you be able to do so? Will you be able to abandon your already vacated life in a single go? Can you let go of your life? I don’t think most people can. Why? Because relinquishing takes more courage than you’ve ever possessed. There’s always something to hold you back, from letting go that little strand of hope, you always find yourself clinging to, the one which is responsible to halt you from leaving.

Illustration by Anubhav Nagpal

Contrary to all of this, since the last few days I’ve been feeling as if I can forsake everything. I can simply leave this place and leave my entire life behind me and not look back. Not even once! I don’t know if this is courage I’m referring to here, because as far as I know myself, I’ve never been this courageous. Also, had it been simply displaying me as a lionhearted person, it would’ve made me happy somehow, however, it does not. Why? Because to me, this isn’t bravery we’re talking about. To me, it’s more like I’m not having anything to hold me back; I’m not having any hope left, to cling to; I’m not having anything to hold on.

There’s no motivation, no muse! Not in any activity, not in any person. Maybe there’s nothing left for me to stay with.

This realization makes all the voids which ever existed; make me feel their presence right in every corner I’d detest. Strange, no? Why people are always too eager to let go? Maybe they’re unaware of the emptiness which will consequently take over their mind and soul. Maybe they’re unaware of the vacuum that’ll follow this entire withdrawal process.
There’s this whole hollow cavity created inside my chest, leaving me with nothing to do, but to stare at the ceiling fan. Monochromatic life takes over, and emptiness prevails.

How does a person with no passion feels? Well here it is all, exactly the way I do”.


– Devika Oberai 



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