Validation

Everyone seeks validation. Your eyes won’t be pretty until someone tells you they are, the hair falling in on your face will always be a source of distraction until someone tells you it makes you look beautiful, what you speak will always appear stupid and useless to you until you find someone who continues to listen to what you say with utmost attention,Your body won’t be perfect until you receive approval for it. Nothing is ever acceptable to anyone until it has been validated by someone.

Over the years we’ve become so unsure of ourselves that we’ve made ourself prone to help. The missing approval is something which can makes us fret more than anything. We just won’t get ourselves to do anything until we’re sure we’ll receive positive reinforcement from someone else (regardless of the fact how it makes us feel). We need someone to make us realise we’re worth everything almost all the time and we just won’t love ourselves until we know others do too.

I think the only way to get done with this validation and approval requirement is probably by being a good person. Or let alone good, just try being a descent person.
Smile at a few strangers, help the one you think needs to be helped, be kind enough in approaching humanity rather than ruthlessly responding to people. Listen to your parents, be good to your siblings. Do whatever you can to make yourself a descent person. Good enough for yourself, not for the world around. Hold on to things which make sense to you and make you happy and make the world too trivial to be noticed. Nevertheless, acknowledge it is a beautiful place to live in. Stop running after people you think don’t appreciate your existence,instead Utilise that time by doing other deeds which will make you happy. Intoxicate yourself, but only with happiness. Learn to walk away from everything which makes you feel ‘unwanted’ because it’s just an unnecessary illusion being created in your mind.Do all that you think is ‘nice’. Let go off everything that holds you down and doesn’t make you happy. Just know that the sky and the oceans and the stars and the moon will always exist and let go.

Try making yourself so good, that you ultimately start believing in it with all your heart and mind, no matter how many people try to convince you otherwise. Make yourself absolutely enough for yourself, thereby eliminating the need to please other people. You’ll love yourself more than enough. Love yourself more than enough so that you don’t have to go searching for people to love you. Neither should you feel the need for receiving validation for every action of yours. Like, that’s the stupidest thing you can ever come close to doing.

– Devika Oberai

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